Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Double Spaz - Flash Fiction Challenge

Here’s my entry to another flash fiction challenge, this time from Haley Whitehall’s blog. She gave us 500 words to write a flash fiction piece beginning with the sentence “She had been warned, but now it was too late.” I made it at 497 words.

Double Spaz
by Pia Newman

She had been warned, but now it was too late. As per the forecast it was pouring with rain and she’d forgotten her umbrella at home.

Any other day, it wouldn’t have mattered. Bree was no drama queen who shrieked in consternation at a drop of rain or even a downpour like this. But her best friend could be. And if Bree showed up at Bella’s wedding with a flattened hairdo and soaked bridesmaid’s dress, she’d throw a hissy fit, Lindsey Lohan-style. She was probably up in arms about the fact that God deigned to let it rain on her wedding day anyway.

To top it all off, Bree was late and had only found a space in the back of the parking lot, far away from the church. By the time she reached the entrance, her underwear would be squishing between her butt cheeks and everyone would see she wasn’t wearing a bra.

Everyone, including Micah.

Not that he’d be surprised. Her showing up to the wedding soaking wet would just add to his experience that Bree couldn’t do anything without looking or acting at least slightly ridiculous. It was almost like fate was playing with her, frequently dangling this hunky chunk of man before her nose, while at the same time pulling the rug from under her feet so that she spilled her drink on him, or met him with a left-over curler in her hair or wearing her T-shirt inside out.

Taken singly, these occurrences weren’t as bad as all that, but they added up if they happened every time they met. And she’d really hoped she’d wow him today, not just make him laugh.

She turned around and rummaged through the mess on the back seat, looking for something, anything, that might hold off the rain. She unearthed an old newspaper with coffee stains on the front page.


She opened the car door, holding the newspaper above her head. The rain splattered down on it like hail and she knew it wouldn’t hold out until she reached the church.

Suddenly, the light around her turned slightly green and the drops stopped pelting down on her.

“Interesting hat,” a voice said behind her. She spun around. Micah stood there, holding a large green umbrella over them both.

Where was quicksand when you needed it? She stuck out her chin. “It’s part of my evil plan to make the world a sillier place.”

“A noble goal. And who better to achieve it than you? I’ll be your partner in crime if you agree to dance with me later on.” There was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he took her hand and laid it in the crook of his umbrella-arm.

“How will dancing with you further my evil intentions?” she asked, twinkling right back.

“I’m the biggest spaz you’ll ever see on the dance floor. The world will be saved.”

His smile warmed her to the toes. Her world was definitely saved.  


  1. You have a playful writing voice and great descriptions. What a cute story.

  2. I like it! I love these writing challenges. It's fantastic to see what other writers think up. Especially in genres different from mine. My short stories often end up leaning strongly towards the horror. LOL.

  3. Thanks, you two! The first sentence was a fun prompt, Haley.

    Yes, it's amazing how stories seem to have a life of their own sometimes, pulling and leading you in a completely different direction from what you originally planned. But working against them is hard and unsatisfying - they ain't gonna be denied! :-)

  4. I liked this story; fun and up beat! No nasty meetings with things that go bump in the night (though they are fun too). Glad you share this with us!

  5. Thank you, Ken!

    It's amazing, really, because lately (as in the-past-three-years lately) I've been a bump-in-the-night girl all the way. But a little romance now and then is good for the soul. :-)

  6. Ooh, I really like this character! You did a great job of developing her in such a brief story. I'm relating to Bree and rooting for her already!

    Fun story. Thanks for writing it!

  7. Thanks, Julie! *happydance* Glad you liked her. :-)