As of today, I'll be freelancing full-time as copywriter and virtual assistant.
My current mood swings back and forth between excited elation and knee-jellying terror. It goes something like this:
Squeeee! I'm free! I will make a living with my writing and VAing! I can work from home! I can work from anywhere! Except...
Yikes! What if I don't earn enough? What if I can't pay my bills or health insurance? What if my clients drop me? What if I fuck up? What if I'm just not good/organized/disciplined enough? And yet...
Squeeee! I can start novel-writing again! I can set up a passive source of income! I can work on my balcony! I can get a dog!
I'm going to make an educated guess that everyone who takes the leap from employment to freelancing also takes the same or a similar ride on the emotional rollercoaster. It's scary and exhilirating all in one.
It's probably also one of the most courageous things I've ever done, even though it doesn't feel that way (yet?).
Over the past year or so, things have kept falling into place in my life, things that I let happen and guide me, things that brought me here without me having to pull and push and shove and fight.
Yes, I worked hard to get here. I'm sleep-deprived, my to-do list is a mile long, and I can't remember the last time I had a proper work-out.
But I don't feel drained, or stressed, or like the ground might suddenly break away from under my feet. I don't have to fear that I'll die of hunger alone in a gutter somewhere if this doesn't pan out. I have several backup and contingency plans in place, in case something goes wrong.
I'm as prepared as I'll ever be, and I know it. I feel safe in taking this step now, at this point in my life. And I'm happy and immensely grateful to be able to start this new life chapter in such a positive way.